With Every Heartbeat Page 38

  “Ten!” I yelled, pushing through arms and shoulders to get to him.

  Hearing his name, he glanced my way. When his eyes immediately flared with anger, unease stirred in my belly.

  “Well, look who finally decided to grace us with her royal presence.”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, but I’d worry about that later, when I found Quinn. “Where’s Quinn?”

  “He’s looking for you, princess.”

  Thinking he was too drunk to be of any help, I started away, but Ten wasn’t finished talking to me. He grabbed my arm. “What the fuck, Blondie? Do you enjoy breaking his heart?”

  I paused to send him an incredulous glance. “Excuse me?”

  “He’s been trying to get a hold of you for over a day. But you never fucking answered. And then you went and even ditched on him today...just like Whora always did. Why are you avoiding him? Why didn’t you make it to the game?”

  “I…” Flustered, I shook my head. “I’m not avoiding him. I’ve been trying to get a hold of him. But I just found out Cora’s been messing with my phone. And I couldn’t make the game, because I…I...”

  Ten sighed and rolled his eyes. “Because you went with your fucking, lying roommate to one of her dialysis treatments?” he guessed.

  My eyes flared with shock. “How…?” I shook my head, confused.

  He moved in closer. “I made it a point to find out everything about her when she and Ham started bumping uglies on a regular basis. I know what’s going on with her.”

  Mouth falling open, I gaped at him, unable to believe he knew. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

  With a roll of his eyes, he moved me into a quieter corner to talk with more ease. “She was trying so hard to keep it a secret, I decided to use it as blackmail against her.”

  “Wait. What?” I totally didn’t understand.

  “The night she found about Noel and Aspen being together, I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her big, gossiping mouth shut. So, when I saw her sitting alone in her car, waiting on you and Quinn and Caroline, I told her she’d better not go spreading rumors about them, or I’d go telling everyone about her worthless kidneys.”

  I just stared at him. “But…you didn’t blackmail me to keep silent about Aspen and Noel,” was all I could think to say.

  A big grin spread across his face before he winked. “Because I didn’t have to. You’re actually a decent human being who knew better than to risk the future of two people who need to be left alone so they can live their happily ever after.”

  “I would never hurt Noel and Aspen like that,” I agreed.

  Ten nodded and glanced past me, scanning the room. “Right, so…Ham. Cora fucked with his phone too, but he figured it out and has been trying to call you anyway.”

  I frowned until I realized the unrecognizable number that had been showing up must’ve been from him…not my father. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. “Is he here?”

  “Yeah. He said he was going to stop by your place on the way over, so you must’ve just missed him. He’s probably here by now, though. You go that way, and I’ll go this way. One of us has to run across him.”

  I nodded, grateful I had Ten to help me search now. “Okay. Thank you.”

  I made it through two rooms, looking for Quinn before I bumped into Cora. Literally.

  “Oh! Sorry—” I started before I looked up and realized it was her. She hadn’t even tried to conceal her black eye, and I tried not to feel bad about giving it to her, but I still kind of did.

  She grabbed my arm. I began to recoil in horror, but she just smirked and dug her fingers in harder. “This way,” she called over her shoulder.

  I resisted, but she tightened her grip. Not sure where she was trying to take me, I finally gave in. Both Quinn and I knew she was up to no good. She couldn’t do anything to hurt us. And maybe, hopefully, she was taking me to him. But the room she led me into was empty.

  I sighed, tired of her games. “Cora—”

  “Now, now,” she chided pleasantly. “Don’t start with me in that tone. Not when I have a present for you.”

  “I’m not interested,” I said dryly.

  Eyes lighting with devious inclination, she asked, “Are you sure? You were so eager to scoop up my leftovers when it came to Quinn. Don’t you want to taste someone else I’ve already had?”

  “No.” I started to turn away, but a dark figure filled the doorway, blocking the exit. I backed up a step before the guy entered. It took me a second to recognize him. Cain Belcher, the guy Quinn had pushed against the wall the first night I met him, leered at me, taking me in from head to toe, as he stepped into the room.

  “Cora told me you wanted to ride my cock, pretty girl. Well, here I am, willing and ready.”

  “What?” I spun to her, my eyes wide with horror. But she was already on the other side of the room, opening a door to a second exit.

  She paused before leaving. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I already told him how rough you like it, and how much acting like you’re resisting turns you on.” Then she slammed the door.

  I raced to it only to find it locked. I pounded on it. “Cora! This isn’t funny.”

  Her muffled laugh came back to me, telling me how much she disagreed.

  A hand gripped my waist from behind. I yelped and whirled around, backing into the door.

  “She lied,” I rushed out, gaping up at him with wide eyes. “I don’t want you. I don’t want this at all.”

  But he looked too glassy-eyed and drunk to care.

  “As long as I get some pussy, you can fight as much as you want, honey.”

  “What? No!” I pushed against him, but he didn’t seem deterred. “Stop!”

  He kissed me hard, smelling like garlic and sweat, and tasting like beer. I struggled against him, gagging and hitting him on the chest, then the side of his head.

  He cursed and hit me back until I saw stars.

  I checked out long enough for him to get his pants undone and try to stick his tongue down my throat. I bit it and he hit me again. The hitting I could take. My father had acclimated me well to that kind of pain. It was the added worry of being raped that freaked me out.

  Fighting as hard as I could, I bit and scratched and tried to scream again until he clamped a hand over my mouth and kneed me in the stomach. When he began to rip open my jeans, I shook my head frantically, trying to beg him with my eyes. He had no mercy. He jammed his fingers down the inside of my pants and cupped me hard between the legs, making tears spill from my eyes.

  I squeezed my lashes shut, trying to cope with reality. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe Cora would—

  “Blondie? You in here?”

  The door opening across the room, letting in noise from the party raging outside, startled my attacker into taking his attention off me. I wiggled my leg free enough to hike my knee up and catch him as hard as I could in the nuts.

  As he groaned and doubled over, I escaped from between him and the wall to launch myself as a dumbstruck Ten stood frozen in the doorway.

  “Ten,” I sobbed.

  “Holy shit.” He shook his head and caught me, dragging me behind him before he looked down at Belcher, who was curled up on the floor in the fetal position, cradling himself and gasping.

  Grabbing him by the shirt, Ten dragged him back to his feet. “Oh, honey. You just roughed up the wrong girl.” He fisted his hand and wound his arm back. But at the moment Belcher closed his eyes and braced for the impact, Ten paused and shook his head, dropping his hand. “No. You know what? I think I’ll just save your pretty face until Blondie’s boyfriend can get his hands on you.”

  “Boyfriend?” Belcher croaked, cracking open one eye to look up at Ten. “Who’s her boyfriend?” He glanced at me, and I immediately hugged myself, backing away from him.

  “Oh, you’ll find out…soon,” Ten promised him before shoving him toward the doorway. “Until then, you’d better
run as fast and far as you can, because he’s coming for you. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Belcher stumbled out of the room, half limping, half running. As soon as he was gone and the door fell shut behind him, reality crashed down on me. Reliving in my head what had just happened, and even worse, what could’ve happened, I began to whimper out these gasping sobs. Feeling his phantom touch everywhere, I tried to wipe it away, but it just kept clinging to my flesh, so I gave up and rocked back and forth for a moment before I remembered my pants were still undone. I fumbled to pull them together, but my hands wouldn’t stop shaking, so I started breathing hard because I was so upset that my fingers wouldn’t work right.

  I was half a second from a hysterical, hyperventilating breakdown, when I heard Ten shout, “ZOEY!”

  He’d never called me by my name before. It broke through my daze and made me realize this wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get my attention. I blinked and looked up at him, gulping down my panic.

  “Don’t you fucking freak out on me,” he warned, his voice stern. “I can’t handle shit like that.”

  When he ripped off his shirt, I gaped in horror and started to back away from him toward the one door I knew had to be unlocked. “What’re you doing?”

  He paused at my cry. “Relax, I’m just giving you something to cover yourself. He practically shredded your shirt.”

  I glanced down to see that I was showing him half my bra. My fingers instantly went to straighten as much of my shirt as possible. My face ached where Belcher had hit me and my skin crawled where he’d pawed me.

  I sniffed back tears when Ten tried to hand me his shirt. “I’m okay.” I didn’t want his shirt. I just wanted Quinn. I must’ve said that aloud, because he sighed.

  “I’ll call him. But first I’m calling the campus cops.”

  Cops, questions, having to tell someone what had just happened to me did not sound appealing at all. “No.” I shook my head. “I just want Quinn.”

  I turned away from him and hurried toward the door. “Blondie!” Ten called after me, his voice irritated. “Damn it. Wait.”

  I hurried out into the party, pausing when the noise and people assaulted my senses. Panic nearly took me under. So many people, no space. But through the horde, I spotted him. Quinn. My lifeline. My heart and soul. The relief of seeing his face nearly buckled me.

  I gasped his name, but he lurched to a stop, staring at me until his face drained of color. Next to him, Cora folded her arms over her chest and smiled as if proud of herself. Quinn looked past me to Ten, who was still struggling to get his shirt on. Then he began to shake his head.

  “No,” I said, when I realized what he thought. “Quinn!”

  He backed away before taking off and escaping through the people. I needed him, no one else would do, so I raced after him, aching for him to hold me, to understand. To believe me.

  Her voice tore into me, slashed open my guts and left me bleeding. Even though she pleaded for me to stop, I kept going, picking up my pace. Things seemed to tilt sideways in my path and I wanted to reach out for the wall to catch my balance, but I didn’t want her to see how much this had just devastated me. I would walk away from her without any kind of assistance.

  Shoving my way outside, I hit the open night air and sucked in a clean breath. But I still felt nauseated. I wanted to rip out every horrible sensation bubbling inside me and just throw it all away. When I reached the end of the block, I heard her again. “Quinn, please! Wait.”

  A half sob, half growl left my lips. I sounded like a wounded animal who’d just had a limb ripped off by a predator and was still trying to escape for its life, warning everyone away with a snarl and at the same time trying to lick its wounds.

  As the park approached, I heard the heels of her sexy tall boots clacking against the sidewalk behind me as she hurried to catch up. The sound was so feminine and sweet, and Zoey, it made my heart wrench again.

  Zoey. God, not Zoey.

  “Quinn, you know me.” She was crying.

  The anguish in her voice hurt. My own eyes instantly filled with moisture, and I wanted to punch something.

  “Please.” She caught my arm. “Would you just stop and look at me.”

  I stopped and whirled around so fast she gasped and cringed away from me. I gnashed my teeth because every instinct inside me wanted to reassure her and apologize for spooking her.

  “Damn it,” I muttered and spun away again, veering to the left so I could pace into the park. “Damn it.” I clutched my hair and walked into a tight circle before bending at the waist and trying to exhale all the pressure pent up in my chest.

  “Quinn?” Her voice was timid as she slowly approached.

  I dropped my hands to my sides and looked at her, suddenly numb and blank.

  She stopped a few feet away and wiped the tears off her cheeks before hugging herself. “Why are you acting this way?” she finally asked, confusion and pain filling her expression. “You know I would never betray you, could never betray you.”

  “Y-y-you—” I wasn’t going to be able to say anything right now without stuttering, so I growled out my frustration and spun away. When I spotted a bench nearby, I collapsed onto it and slumped my elbows onto my knees before burying my face into my hands.

  A moment later, Zoey gingerly sat on the opposite end of the bench. I could feel her sitting so close and yet so far away. Everything in me that loved her strained her way, begging me to just reach out and gather her into my arms. But I stayed cold and hard and kept myself the entire length of the bench away from her.

  She sniffed, letting me know she was still crying. “You don’t believe me, do you?” Her voice trembled. “You think Ten and I...”

  I swallowed and my throat felt like it was on fire. “I believe you,” I finally said, my voice so hoarse, I’m surprised she heard me.

  But she must’ve heard because she said, “Then why are you still all the way over there?”

  I thought about it for a second longer, then I scrubbed the heels of my hands over my face hard and sat up straight. When I turned to her, she looked about as awful as I felt.

  “It hurt when I found out Cora had cheated and lied about everything,” I said, shaking my head. “But when you walked out of that room like that, with Ten, it…it destroyed me.”

  More tears filled her eyes. “But I didn’t—”

  I just kept shaking my head. “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I believed it for five seconds or five months, it ripped me apart, and I don’t ever want to feel like that again.” I apologized to her with my eyes before admitting, “I’m not ready for this.”

  She whimpered and whispered my name. More tears slid down her cheeks.

  “I thought I was okay after...after what she did. I thought I’d handled it and gotten over it. But...I think she did break something in me. I think I need time to heal. I think...I think it shouldn’t scare me like this to realize how deeply I’ve let you in.”

  And I had let her in...completely. I hadn’t even questioned it when she’d told me she was on the pill. I’d just believed, because she was Zoey. That made me twice the idiot since I should’ve learned my lesson after Cora.

  I thought Zoey was going to crumble, but she straightened her shoulder and nodded before looking into my eyes and rasping, “I understand. I knew you needed time after her. I just...I should’ve made you take that time instead of convincing myself you were okay.”

  I think watching her stiffen her spine and bear this hurt more than if she’d kept on weeping and begging. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t go down.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

  She laughed softly and wiped at the last of her tears. Pushing to her feet, she murmured, “I’m the one caught coming out of a bedroom with some guy and you’re the one apologizing? You’re something else, Quinn Hamilton.”

  “It feels as if I stole your innocence, and now I’m just shoving it right back in your fac
e.”

  “You didn’t steal anything.” With a smile, she pushed to her feet. “You can’t steal something that was given freely.” After a regretful sigh, she leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “Go and heal. Just...take care of yourself, Quinn.”

  I snaked my arms around and snagged her around the hips, drawing her against me so I could bury my face in her waist. Her smell enveloped me and consoled me. I squeezed my eyes closed, knowing even as I was pushing her away, she was the only person who could comfort me at a time like this. Her fingers in my hair almost made me purr.

  I was a split second away from changing my mind. What the heck did I think I was doing? I loved this girl. We clicked. She adored Psych just as much as I did, she got my love for biology even when she wasn’t a fan herself, and she was the best lover and best friend I’d ever had, all rolled into one.

  I would be miserable without her.

  But she was the one who finally pulled back, brushing gently at my hair. I couldn’t take any more of this, so I mumbled something about how I had to go. I surged to my feet and stumbled away. I had no idea where I was headed; I just started walking, hoping I could clear my head and decide I didn’t want time or space away from her after all.

  I was still sitting on the bench where I collapsed after Quinn left me, numb and alone in the dark, when a panting Ten raced up.

  “There you are.” Breathless, he paused to rest his hands on his knees. “Where’s Ham? Did he already go after Belcher?”

  I shook my head. “No. I didn’t tell him about Belcher.”

  “What?” Ten straightened and glanced around. “Then what the hell did you tell him? Where is he?”

  “I didn’t tell him anything except that he was wrong, that you and I didn’t…that we didn’t do anything.”

  Ten shook his head, confused. “I don’t get it. Why the fuck didn’t you tell him about Belcher?”

  I wasn’t too sure why myself. “I don’t know. I wanted him to believe me without telling him everything.” I looked up at Ten, feeling lost. “He said he believed me, but I don’t think he really did. He broke up with me, saying he needed time, and then he left.” Everything inside me felt as if it was crumbling. “Why didn’t he believe me?”