Secrets That We Keep Read online

  Maybe Fox would be less miserable if I was gone.

  Gathering my jacket and purse, I glanced Fox’s way because, for some reason, I’d been aware of his exact location all night long. He was currently absorbed in a conversation with Cress and Cress’s new boyfriend, Maverick. As Cress talked with a flourish of exaggerated arm movements and animated facial expressions, Maverick watched him with awed fixation.

  I smiled, glad to see Cress had found someone who seemed so taken with him.

  Fox threw his head back and laughed at whatever Cress was saying, and my heart freaking cracked wide open. Oh God, talk about fixated. I was so gone for him it wasn’t even funny.

  “I think we can get through this way,” Gracen was saying as he took my hand to help guide me through the crowd toward the exit. Away from Fox.

  When we reached the entrance to the front foyer, I couldn’t help it, I glanced back one last time.

  Beau was refreshing Fox with a new beer—for about the dozenth time that night—and Fox happened to glance my way just as he exchanged his empty bottle for a full one. His eyes flared when he realized I was leaving, and he lurched forward, bumping his brother-in-law out of the way so he could rush toward me.

  “Uh…” I resisted Gracen’s pull as we entered the empty foyer.

  He paused and glanced back. “What’s wrong?”

  I pointed. “I think…” Crap. How could I tell him Fox was coming, and I couldn’t leave without at least wishing him a goodbye?

  But then we heard a crash behind us.

  My brother and I turned to discover that Fox had been bulldozing his way around the corner so fast to reach us that he miscalculated and cracked the side of his shoulder on the crown-molding edge that led into the foyer.

  “Oww,” he mumbled as he rightened himself, only to realize he’d spilled some beer from his full bottle when he’d stumbled. “Shit.” He frowned at the tiny puddle on the floor as Gracen broke away from me to approach him.

  “You okay there, bud?”

  Fox looked up. His eyes were a little bloodshot, which made it look as if he’d been crying, though I knew he was only intoxicated.

  “Yeah, yeah,” he slurred as his gaze went to me, then returned to my brother. “You guys leaving? Already?”

  “Yeah, I gotta work early,” Gracen was saying as he patted the side of Fox’s arm companionably. “But happy birthday. Quarter of a century already, huh? Damn, I think my first memory of you was when you were being potty trained, and you shit on my parents’ living room carpet.”

  Fox blinked at him and then frowned. “I thought that was Trick.”

  Gracen tilted his head thoughtfully. “Was it?”

  “Yes,” I said from behind the men. Mom had told the story a dozen times, and it had always been Trick’s name she used.

  “Oh. My bad.” With a teasing grin, Gracen smacked the front of Fox’s chest with the back of his hand. “I guess I have no idea what my first memory of you is, then.”

  Fox shook his head, dismissing him, and turned to me. “Thanks for coming,” he said as if he’d been the host and planned this party all by himself. Then he opened his arms to hug me goodbye.

  I paused at first, uncertain. I don’t think he’d ever hugged me at a family event before. But hugs were common enough in our group that it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary either. So I stepped forward and hugged him.

  He pulled me in close and buried his face in my neck before he gathered handfuls of the back of my shirt and squeezed as if holding on to me for dear life. His scent overwhelmed me, and my body went hypersensitive, already preparing for the sensual assault that usually followed whenever I smelled that familiar fragrance.

  Lashes fluttering as my thighs trembled, I awkwardly patted his back and tried to appear like I wasn’t relishing the feel of having his strong, virile body in my arms because I was also ultra-aware of my brother standing right there, watching us.

  “Happy birthday,” I said.

  Fox shuddered before his hand flattened against the small of my back and slid across my spine. Then he whispered, “I just wanted to spend the night with you.”

  I swallowed and felt tears sting my eyes.

  Gaze seeking my twin desperately as Fox clung to me as if he might never let go, I panicked, wondering what Gracen must be thinking.

  If he suspected—

  “Okay, then,” he said, reaching out and unpeeling Fox from me. “That’s enough now. Go sober up, buddy.”

  Well, I guess my brother didn’t suspect anything, after all. He’d been too busy mistaking my glance for thinking I’d been begging him to save me from Fox’s suffocating hug.

  Heart beating hard, I looked up into a pair of tormented brown eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbled and reached up to touch my hair. Except I knew he wasn't apologizing for holding me too long.

  “Go save your hat from the trash,” I told him. “I didn’t mean to replace it, just get you a backup.”

  But he shook his head as he slowly lifted his hand to slide his fingers along the crisp new edges of the cap he wore. “Nope,” he said, his eyes glittering with intensity as he added, “I’ve got myself a new mistress now.”

  My ears began to buzz as I felt my face immediately drain of all color, wondering if he was talking in double-speak to tell me he was through with me and ready to move on now or if he really only meant the hat.

  Next to me, Gracen snorted and shook his head. “Dude, you are so weird. Hats are not mistresses.”

  Fox merely grinned at him. “Mine is.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ll leave you two to it, then.” Grasping my hand, my brother pulled me toward the door. I watched Fox as we left the house, and his gaze returned to me solemnly as he lifted his hand and waved a sad goodbye.

  I didn’t wave back, telling myself I was overreacting and this wasn’t the end of anything.

  “Wow.” Gracen shook his head and gave a low whistle as we strolled through a spray of yard lights toward his car. “Just how drunk do you think Fox was?”

  I cleared my throat and evasively asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Oh come on,” he laughed. “How could you miss the way he was totally hitting on you?”

  I snorted and glanced guiltily away. “As if.”

  “I thought I was going to have to pull him off your leg because he was going to start humping it or something.”

  “Gracen!”

  My brother only snickered some more as he opened the passenger side door for me. “What? Don’t even deny it. You had to have felt his hand practically on your ass when he hugged you. He petted your hair, for God’s sake. And he looked at you like…” Shaking his head, he blew out a low whistle and lifted his eyebrows as if he still couldn’t believe what he’d seen.

  “Like what?” I had to ask hopefully, my heart beginning to pump hard.

  “Like—I don’t know. If I didn’t know better, I’d say little Fox has a crush. Man, but he’s going to regret drinking so much come tomorrow, that’s for sure.”

  “Hey!” I cried, punching him in the shoulder. “Thanks a fucking lot.”

  “Oww!” He sent me an incredulous glance. “What the hell was that for?”

  “You just suggested that someone could only be drunk to hit on me.” I rolled my eyes. “Jerk face.”

  “That is not—”

  “And then—then…” I stressed, glaring. “You said a person would severely regret it after sobering up if they did actually hit on me. I’m not that repulsive, you know. And besides, he didn’t hit on me.”

  “I’m not saying you’re repulsive. Jesus. People sure do put a lot of words in my mouth lately.”

  “Who else put words—”

  “I only meant…” It was his turn to interrupt me with an irritated scowl. “You’re like family. It’ll probably freak him out when he sobers up and realizes what he did.”

  Sniffing at him, I slid into the car, and he shut the door for me. I jerked on my seat belt, and as soon as he’d
made his way around to the driver’s side and was sliding behind the wheel, I had to mumble, “He’s not family.”

  “That’s why I said he was like family,” Gracen countered as he started the engine.

  “Well, you act like no one in the group has hooked up before.”

  “Yeah, but everyone saw Beau and Bentley coming from a mile away. They were, like, born a couple. Though I do have to admit, JB and Teagan was definitely a surprise.” He shook his head as if trying to clear it before he concentrated on backing out of the tight space we were in. Then he glanced my way. “I mean, they make it work somehow. I’ve never seen either of them so content. But still. I did not see that one coming.”

  “Who would you see me with?” I asked experimentally, curious to know his thoughts.

  The glance he sent me told me the question surprised him. “You mean from the group?”

  I nodded and bit the inside of my lip.

  “Hmm.” He was thoughtful for a moment as we pulled out onto the street. Then he nodded. “Probably Luke.”

  “Luke!?” I shrieked, wrinkling my nose in dismay. “Luke’s an asshole.”

  “Yeah,” Gracen agreed on a shrug. “But he’s a likable asshole. He’s got so much damn charm and charisma with his crude, inappropriate lines, people can’t help but forgive him immediately and love him anyway.”

  “And that’s the kind of future you want for me? Luke?” It was official; my brother was insane.

  “I never said I wanted him for you.” He sent me an odd glance. “You asked who seemed like the most logical choice for you from our group, and I answered.”

  “Why not any of the others, though?”

  “I don’t know.” He was beginning to sound defensive. Probably because I was becoming so aggressive with my questions. “He’s the only single one in the group left who’s older than us, I guess. Why does it matter?”

  I gaped at him. “Why does age matter?”

  “It doesn’t!” His voice was beginning to grow louder. “Why the fuck are you attacking me? You asked me a question, so I answered with the first name that popped into my head. I didn’t stop to think why. Jesus. What is your deal?”

  Shit. He was right. I was going off and getting upset for no reason.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right. You were just being so—”

  “Wait. You’re saying I’m the one behaving oddly here?” He pressed a hand to his chest and then shook his head and chuckled darkly. “Wow.”

  I knew I was in the wrong. I was being completely hostile over something that was totally not my twin’s fault.

  All this was my fault.

  My guilt.

  I just felt so bad.

  Fox had sent me this pleading and devastated look as if I’d ruined his entire birthday.

  I just wanted to spend the night with you.

  God, what was wrong with me? I could’ve stayed longer. I hadn’t needed to go with Gracen. I shouldn’t have let what Fox had said earlier over the phone rattle me so much.

  What if he stopped pushing now?

  What if he stopped trying altogether? Or caring? Or coming over?

  Panic crawled up my throat.

  I didn’t want him to give up on me. To leave. I just needed some time and space to think this through and sort it out in my head.

  Oh Jesus, I’d been the one who’d needed space this whole time. Not Fox.

  My phone pinged from my purse. I already knew it was him. Needing to know what he’d written, I fumbled to pull it free and see the message. But he’d only sent me two emojis. A boot and a phone.

  My eyes watered as my mouth spread wide with a relieved grin.

  He wasn’t done after all.

  “Shoe phone?” Gracen questioned from beside me.

  Jumping, I slammed the screen of the phone against my stomach, hiding it from his view. “Excuse me,” I muttered. “It’s rude to read other people’s messages over their shoulder.”

  He lifted his gaze to me and blinked in confusion because we’d always openly snooped on each other’s messages.

  “Since when do you care so much about me not seeing your messages? And what does shoe phone mean?” His voice grew suspicious. “Just what’re you hiding from me, Bella? Who the fuck is this warthog person?”

  “He’s no one,” I insisted. “It’s nothing.”

  “Has someone been harassing you?” he pressed.

  I sighed and rolled my eyes. “No.”

  “So you’re seeing someone new?”

  My stomach tightened with dread. He probably knew I was lying when I said, “No,” because he sighed impatiently.

  “I have no idea why you would keep something from me, but I can only think of really bad reasons right now. And they all end up with you getting hurt. You’d come to me if you were in trouble, wouldn’t you?”

  “Of course.” Because he truly seemed concerned, I reached out and touched his arm. “Don’t worry, bubba. I’m fine. I promise you. People are allowed to have some secrets from each other, aren’t they?”

  He was suspiciously quiet before he murmured, “Yeah. I guess they are.”

  But as soon as he said that, I started to wonder what he was keeping from me. And I began to regret putting up the border I’d just created between us because it felt as if I’d just lost an essential part of our relationship.

  Damn, I just couldn’t stop messing everything up tonight, could I?

  Chapter Twelve

  Yellow

  THE NEXT MORNING

  From the moment I woke, I looked forward to the day. My boss had granted me permission to come in this afternoon and reorganize his filing system. I had no idea who had been his assistant before me, but filing had obviously not been a priority for them.

  It’d also be nice to get out from under his thumb for a few hours. I couldn’t tell if Mr. Draper was a micromanager or what, but he made it extremely hard for me to get my job done when he was constantly calling me into his office to ask really meaningless questions and popping up next to my desk to talk. He was nice enough, sure, he was just kind of always…

  There.

  It’d be a relief to have some peace and quiet where I could orient myself and simply breathe in order to get some work done. Which led me to another reason I was excited about working on a Saturday.

  And that reason was Gracen Lowe. I felt like a moron, but I hadn’t realized he was also an employee here—scratch that; I hadn’t known he was a freaking boss here—until my first day on the job when Mr. Draper had walked me around to introduce me to everyone. But apparently, Mr. Draper, Gracen, and some woman named Jada Batrick owned the business together and were all partners.

  Yeah, I had really sucked in researching the company I was interviewing for. My jaw had nearly dropped to the floor when Mr. Draper had tapped on his door before opening it to reveal Gracen’s face inside, where he’d been sitting behind a desk, working on his computer.

  Gracen hadn’t seemed all that shocked to see me, either. He’d known I’d been hired.

  From there, he’d been polite but fairly distant with me, greeting me as if it was our first encounter and nodding stiffly before welcoming me to the team and getting back to his own business.

  We hadn’t crossed paths since then. He had his own secretary, and I worked solely for Mr. Draper. Though I usually caught a peek or two of him every day from across the big workroom where the rest of the employees who weren’t owners sat in cubicles.

  It was hard to concentrate on work when I was constantly searching for even a glimpse of him. So it’d be nice to get to focus solely on filing and organizing things.

  As soon as my session with a fairly quiet and subdued—probably also hungover from his birthday—Parker was over, I’d hurried to the office and opened my computer, letting it boot up while I stashed my purse.

  I could hear one of the agents over in a cubicle across the room, and someone was scuffling around in the breakroom. Other than that, the place was quiet. Perfect to
get some serious work in.

  Though you know, a nice cup of coffee sounded like a good way to start the day. I could smell some from the breakroom, so I grabbed my mug and abandoned my desk that was located right outside the door to Mr. Draper’s office for a few minutes so I could stroll toward the breakroom, only to pull up short and gape when I passed Gracen’s office and found the door open with the light on inside.

  No. He couldn’t be working today, too, could he? Fate wouldn’t be that cruel.

  Except it totally would.

  My heart skipped a beat, and my lips parted as I lifted my attention to the door to the breakroom ahead. I had a feeling I knew who was in there right now.

  Wondering how he’d treat me, I slowed my step and debated on whether I should return to my desk until he was out or just stroll in there with him.

  Damn, I was being foolish. We were both adults. We could do this.

  I turned into the entrance of the breakroom and fell to a stop.

  Dear God, how was I going to do this?

  Wearing a gray suit jacket and matching pants with his back to me, he cut a strikingly professional but also insanely gorgeous picture as he stood at the counter shaking a packet of sweetener in order to get all the particles inside to shift to the other end so he could open it without making a mess.

  A cup sat in front of him as he held a phone with his other hand and squinted at the screen, mumbling, “Shoe phone. Shoe call. Or boot. I guess it could be a boot.”

  Curious, I wandered closer until I saw the screen where he had two emojis next to each other, trying to decipher their meaning.

  “Boot phone. Boot call. Boot—”

  “Booty call,” I blurted, making him jump and drop his unopened package of sweetener…

  Right into his cup full of steaming, dark liquid.

  “Oh my God, I’m sorry!” I gushed as I covered my mouth with my hands as he cursed and rushed to fish the soaked packet from his drink with the tips of two fingers.

  Hissing over how hot the liquid was, he lifted the dripping remains free before flinging it into a nearby trash can.