Worth It Read online

  My mind instantly traveled to the only person I’d ever really known who’d done any time. And Pick would’ve known him too. But there was no way Noel was talking about Knox. He had a good twenty-eight years left to serve.

  “Isn’t that crazy?” Aspen was saying.

  “Hmm?” I glanced over and realized both Noel and Aspen were watching me. “Oh! Yeah. Insane.”

  Noel sent me an odd look. “So, what’re you doing here today? More book talk?”

  “Uh...no.” I waved a hand, letting him know my day wasn’t nearly as eventful as his story. “My boyfriend cheated on me, pretty much kicked me out of my apartment, and then moved in his new whore...without informing me of the changes first. That’s all.”

  Noel blinked. Then a frown creased his forehead. Finally, he said, “He...what? He cheated on you? Is he fucking stupid?”

  Yeah, that question still warmed me from the inside out. “That’s exactly what your wife said.”

  “It was,” Aspen confirmed.

  Noel grinned at her and reached out to yank her against his chest. “Of course it was. Because you’re the smartest woman I know.”

  As they did that kissy-make-babies-with-their-eyes thing again, I groaned. “Still here.”

  Noel growled and tore his mouth from Aspen’s but kept his forehead mashed to hers.

  “She’s going to need a place to stay,” Aspen started.

  “Hell, yes, she can stay here.” Noel glanced at me to announce, “We’ll bunk you in Brandt’s room.”

  Again, exactly what Aspen had said. These two were so tuned in to each other it was sickening. A good sickening that made me really jealous and all heart-hurt.

  Before I could refuse their offer, the back door opened again, and this time Noel’s fifteen-year-old brother burst inside with a book bag slung over his shoulder.

  “Wuz up?” he greeted the two at the counter, not yet spotting me.

  Noel scowled. “Why are you home so late?”

  Brandt merely rolled his eyes. “I was at Sarah’s doing homework. Algebra is kicking my ass, and of course she’s acing it. But the damn girl still wouldn’t let me just copy her answers. I mean, what the hell, right? What’s the point of having a fucking genius for a best friend if she makes you work out every problem by yourself and then gets off on telling you how wrong you got all the answers? Damn braggart.”

  “As well she shouldn’t let you cheat off her,” Aspen scolded.

  “And how many times have I asked you to watch your language in front of Aspen and her friends,” Noel added.

  “Her friends?” Brandt lifted an eyebrow and glanced over to finally catch sight of me sitting at the table.

  “Oh, hey, Felicity.” He lowered his voice as he swaggered my way. “You look extra beautiful today. How’re you doing?”

  “Oh, brother,” Noel muttered under his breath.

  “I’m good, thanks.” Then I shrugged. “I mean, other than the fact my boyfriend cheated on me, kicked me out of my own apartment, and left me basically homeless.”

  His jaw dropped. “Holy shit. Cam cheated on you? Is he fucking stupid?”

  God, I loved this family.

  “Yeah, so she gets your room until she can find a new place of her own,” Noel announced.

  Brandt frowned at him only to whirl back to me, a huge smile breaking across his face. “Hell, yes, you can sleep in my bed.” Then he leaned down to murmur into my ear, “I’m a great cuddler.”

  While Aspen laughed, Noel smacked his brother on the back of the head. “You’re getting the couch, moron.”

  I couldn’t answer, because honestly—or maybe I should say sadly—Brandt Gamble’s offer of male companionship was the best I’d heard in six long, dry years. Too bad the cutie-pie was complete jailbait. I might’ve actually considered him.

  Needing more to drink because I’d suddenly found myself saddled with a houseful of Gambles, I reached for my now watered-down iced tea and began to guzzle.

  Here was to the rest of my miserable life.

  We met four more times at our tree. Twice, he was late because he couldn’t get away any sooner without rousing suspicion, but he never failed to show eventually, with baby Bentley tucked in his arms.

  By the third meeting, I finally shed my baby-handling nerves and was able to hold Bentley throughout the entire visit. She even whined once and I didn’t freak...er, maybe I should say Knox successfully talked me through the panic.

  We usually gossiped the entire time. He was so incredibly easy to talk to. I think I could tell him anything. I think I did tell him everything. We talked about Bentley, and school, and movies and music, and politics, religion, families, deep topics, frivolous topics, just...everything. If one of us thought of something to say, we said it. I even made his ears bleed with more cheesy jokes, because I suspected he secretly loved them.

  I mean, how could he not like: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

  I so caught him cracking a smile and shaking his head as he sighed after that one.

  Somewhere inside me, I knew I should be more reserved, but there was just something about Knox Parker that had me opening up and sharing all my thoughts and dreams. Despite the fact he was the cutest freaking boy on the planet—which normally would’ve bottled me up tighter than a jar of ketchup—I sensed he understood me, all my passions, and insecurities, and thoughts and dreams about life. He became the best friend I’d ever had after only three visits.

  The fourth time, however, he came empty-handed.

  I’d been leaning against the tree, not ready to sit because I was wearing the cutest outfit I owned along with sparkly ballet flats, and I didn’t want to dirty them on the ground just yet—he had to see me at my best first. Pretending to read from my Kindle while I was actually glancing around for him every two seconds, my breath caught when I heard the crunch of leaves, signaling approaching footsteps.

  I whipped my attention that way, and there he was, strolling through the shadows and the sunlight toward me. I sucked in a breath, freshly awed by how beautiful he was. It took me a second after he jammed his empty hands into his pocket, which lifted his shoulders in a nervous, unsure kind of manner, to realize he came sans baby. I jerked my gaze to his face to find apology in his eyes.

  With my heart lodged in my throat, worried what bad thing he had to say, I tried to crack a joke to ease my own anxieties. Tapping a finger to my chin, I announced, “I can’t help but notice you look different today.” Imitating cradling a baby, I added, “No wiggling bundle of blankets in the arm area, maybe.”

  “Yeah,” he said, a regretful sigh seeping from his lungs as his shoulders slouched. “About that. Apparently Bentley had a doctor’s appointment today I wasn’t aware of. If I’d known, I would’ve told you yesterday so you didn’t have to come all the way out here. I got to feeling so bad knowing you were probably waiting, I thought I’d let you know she wasn’t going to make it.”

  “Oh.” I think he could hear the disappointment in my voice, which I truly tried to make sound bright and cheerful, because he winced. So, I quickly added, “That’s okay.” And it was. My disappointment honestly stemmed not at all from Bentley and totally from the fact I wouldn’t be able to spend the entire afternoon with him again.

  “I’m sorry you came all this way to see her,” he started.

  “No, really, it’s fine.” I waved him quiet. “But thank you for letting me know. That was...really considerate.”

  He opened his mouth to respond but must’ve changed his mind because he just as quickly clamped his lips back together. With his hands still in his pockets, he cleared his throat. “Well...I wanted you to know.”

  “Well...” I mumbled right back. “Thank you.”

  Oh my God, what was going on? We were more nervous and unsure around each other now than the first day he’d run into me. What had happened to us being able to talk about anything?

  When I realized it was Bentley’s fault, I gulped.
She’d been the perfect little chaperone. With her always between us, acting as a sort of shield, she’d been a physical buffer that had helped us open up more emotionally.

  But with her gone, leaving us alone, there was nothing between us at all.

  Knox took a step backward. “So, yeah. I guess I’d better get out of your hair.”

  I couldn’t hide my disappointment, even though I really, honestly tried. “Okay.”

  He stopped in his tracks, and hope lit his gaze. “Unless...”

  Perking to attention, I repeated, “Unless?”

  “You want to hang out?” He shrugged and glanced away, as if it made no difference to him one way or another. Then he went and said, “I don’t have anything else to do until I have to leave for work at five, but if you’re busy, it’s cool. I can—”

  “I’m not busy,” I rushed to say.

  His gaze slashed to mine, hope once again sparkling in his brown eyes. “You’re not?”

  I shook my head. “No. I could hang out.”

  “Okay, then.” But he seemed to realize he’d been too eager, so he immediately backed off and shrugged again. “I mean, whatever.”

  I bit my lip to hide a grin. But then neither of us spoke and neither of us moved; we just stood there, hanging out in complete silence.

  “Do you, uh, do you want to walk?” I shrugged self-consciously. “I haven’t ventured out here much. We could explore.”

  After a slow nod, he said, “I could walk.” His palm came out, extending my way.

  Realizing he wanted to hold hands while we walked, I blew out a trembling breath as I silently commanded myself not to pass out from an overdose of excitement. After a mental fangirl scream, I took his fingers.

  They were warm, and large, and oh-so boy.

  He grinned. “Let’s go this way.”

  I nodded, not even paying attention to which way he pointed, because I knew I’d never been that way before. This was as far into the woods as I’d ever gone. Anywhere we went from here would be new to me.

  So, we walked. The tension eased, and I could finally breathe easier.

  He asked me about a show we both liked that had aired a new episode the night before. As we chatted and argued about what we had and hadn’t liked, the sky went darker as the trees started growing closer together, and the ground became mushier without as much sunshine to dry the earth.

  But I really didn’t pay too much attention to what was underfoot while my hand was so perfectly clasped in Knox’s...not until I took a step and lifted my foot, only to realize my ballet flat hadn’t come with me.

  Suddenly finding myself half barefoot, I gasped to a halt, jerking Knox out of step as well.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, turning back with concern flooding his face.

  I clenched my hand around his so I could keep my balance on one foot. “I just lost my shoe.”

  “You...?” He frowned before his gaze tracked down to my foot. And then his eyes widened. “Oh shit.” Clasping my elbow with his free hand to keep me from falling, he scanned the ground around us before saying, “There it is.”

  I glanced back, already wincing because I knew what I’d find. I’d felt the forceful suction of sloppy mud claiming my slipper as soon as I’d lifted my foot. And yep, it was mostly submerged in a marshy puddle.

  “Aww, fuck.” When Knox looked back at me, he winced. “I am so sorry, Felicity. I shouldn’t have taken you this way.”

  “It’s okay,” I instantly assured him. “I’ll just—” But oh crap, I had no idea what I’d just do. No way was I going to walk around the woods with only one shoe.

  “I got it.” Knox bent past me and reached for my slipper.

  “Oh, you don’t have to—”

  But he’d already plucked it from the mud. I gulped as I took in how absolutely covered in sludgy, smelly grime it was. Eww. I did not want to put my foot anywhere near that thing.

  Knox read the disgust off my face and sent me a helpless shrug. “Want me to loan you my shoe?”

  The little cut in my breathing was my heart too busy expanding about five sizes larger because I think I fell flat in love with Knox Parker in that very second. I couldn’t believe he was offering to go without a shoe so I’d have one, even though his feet had to be twice as large as mine and I’d probably lose his sneaker faster than I’d lost my ballet flat.

  “Of course not.” I sent him an incredulous glance. “I am not making you go barefoot, you crazy loon. Just...” I reached for my ballet mud flat. “Hand me my—”

  “No, don’t,” he warned softly, holding my shoe out away from me. “My hand’s already dirty. Let me.” When he knelt in front of me and murmured, “Put your hand on my shoulder,” I have no idea how I remained upright and didn’t melt into a puddle in front of him, or at the very least, shout out my undying love.

  Gulping hard, I set my hand gingerly on his solid shoulder. Wet mud encased my foot as he slid the slipper on, but all I felt was the amazingly supportive shoulder and the brush of his hair against my bare knee as he bent over my foot. When he looked up from where he was still kneeling in front of me, I lost myself in his brown eyes.

  “Thank you,” I think I said.

  He grinned and straightened as he wiped his dirty fingers on the leg of his pants. “No problem.” Then he hitched his chin toward a different direction. “But maybe we should go this way now.”

  “Okay,” I murmured, still caught in my I-think-I-love-this-boy daze. We could go any direction he liked.

  He clasped my hand again and off we went. The squishy sound of mud gushing between my toes with every step notwithstanding, this was turning out to be the best afternoon walk of my life.

  A minute later, Knox finally broke the silence between us by chuckling and shaking his head. “Seriously, what in the world were you thinking to wear such flimsy shoes into the woods?”

  I flushed hard and hot. I’d been thinking I’d wanted to impress him with my girlishness. But I’d only shown him how senseless and impractical I was.

  “I can’t believe you were raised right next to these woods. You act like such a city girl.”

  That felt like an insult, so I scowled. “I do not.”

  His chuckle only grew louder as he paused and took the time to help me step over a log I definitely could’ve stepped over myself.

  With another irritable frown, I yanked my hand from his and leapt the log all on my own. “This is the first summer I’ve ever really come out here. Excuse me for not knowing there was a freaking swamp around.”

  When I took another step on my own, my muddy shoe stuck to something I’d stepped in and it once again came off without me. Without the support of his hand in mine, I began to tumble to the ground, but he caught my elbow.

  As he helped me upright and then back into my shoe again, he winked. “Well, I practically live in these trees, so I should’ve paid attention to what you were wearing on your feet and not taken you this way. I totally owe you new shoes.”

  Mollified, I sighed. “No, you don’t. I’m the idiot who wore them, so—” I gasped out a short scream when I almost ran into a spiderweb...with a huge furry spider hanging in it. With it inches from my face and staring me in the eyeball, I lurched against Knox, clutching his hand hard. “Oh my God! Spider!”

  He laughed and steered me safely around the web. “You really are a city girl...Felicity Girl.”

  “That’s a stupid name,” I muttered, even though I kind of liked him coming up with a special name for me.

  “Spider!” he warned suddenly and ran his fingers up my ribcage, making me leap away, screaming.

  He laughed, so I slapped him on the shoulder.

  “That was so not funny.” I slugged him again, but he only laughed harder. “Jerk.” I started to stomp around him, only for my slippers to get caught up again, making me stumble.

  Grr. Why did this only happen when he wasn’t holding my hand?

  Half a breath later, he appeared at my side a
nd silently took my hand. “Man, you are way too fun to rile, City Girl.”

  I kept hold of his hand, but didn’t answer.

  He shrugged, and we walked along, growing quiet. After a ways, my irritation retreated, and the sounds of the forest eased my temperament. When we approached a tree in our path, I started to move around it to the right, but Knox’s fingers tightened around mine, taking me left. He kept moving left, letting me know we had a specific destination in mind.

  “Where’re we going?”

  He glanced at me, his eyes lighting with pleasure. “You swear you’ve never been out this way before?”

  I shook my head slowly, wondering what he was planning.

  His lips tipped into a grin. “Then it’s a surprise.”

  “You weren’t lying when you said you practically live out here, were you?”

  “Nope. This is where I come when I need to get away. I know these trees like the back of my hand.”

  I nodded. This was his haven. Only a few weeks ago, it’d become mine too. “Strange,” I murmured thoughtfully. “We were both so ready to defend our relatives that day we met, and they’re the ones we always come out here to escape.”

  He glanced at me. “Family loyalty makes no sense at all, does it?”

  I shrugged. Maybe it didn’t, but I didn’t feel like such the loyal Bainbridge being out here alone with this Parker boy. I felt reckless, and euphoric, and so free that a little bubble of joy in my chest began to grow and expand to unimaginable proportions.

  “There,” Knox murmured in my ear as he pointed past me, letting me know we’d arrived at wherever he’d wanted to take me.

  I looked over and squinted when I saw...was that water between the trees?

  “Oh my goodness.” I stared in wonder as we drew closer to a ramp that led out onto a small wooden dock. “I had no idea there was a lake out here.”

  “Strip pit,” Knox corrected. “It’s the only one. I guess they discovered a trace amount of coal years ago and did some mining, but never found enough to keep the project going. After they abandoned it, it filled with water.”